best-of-funny:

totallynotagentphilcoulson:

leeeeeeeeeegooooooooolaaaaaaaaas:

So there’s this guy that dresses up like a vintage safari explorer and drives his kids around in a giant banana car back in my hometown…

Be honest everyone: if you were a parent with a banana car this is EXACTLY what you would do too

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Source: leeeeeeeeeegooooooooolaaaaaaaaas

best-of-funny:

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

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